Back to the juicy stuff...
This maybe a little long so just play along...mmmkay?
Okay well no new updates on the gym girl. I took the advice and asked around at the gym and the general reply was either "who?" or "Dude we have lots of cute blonde haired girls here" so I'll have to let fate guide me on this one yet again. In regards to the ex gf calling me out of the blue I simply wrote her a nice email thanking her for the apology, telling her that I've been working out and losing weight and then said Happy Holidays and signed off. I realized that she had to eat a lot of crow to call me and apologize and I respected that, but I couldn't help letting her know that I had moved on, that I looked fantastic and then simply saying goodbye and to enjoy the holidays. Maybe she's grown up and maybe not. But if she's wanting to at least be civil again with me it will be at a snails pace. I was telling Carol that if you've ever seen the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" then you will understand the love and the frustration of the relationship I had with her. She's a beautiful person who got me out of my shell and helped me in ways no one else had, but overall she wanted a more carefree and crazy life than I was prepared for and that grew into estrangement and eventually after we broke up resentment mixed with hurtful words. As many of you know it's hard to break up with someone and sometimes worse to lose all contact with them together. It's like someone out there in the world that knows all of your secrets and dreams and most of all YOU and you have no connection with them anymore. I miss her yes...but I don't miss the pain, drama and the inability for things to be stable for any period of time. The sex was incredible but sadly that only keeps you together so long.
So in light of the absence of the gym girl and the ex calling me I decided to take Bev's advice from a while back and try online dating again. I honestly loathe it because I feel like I'm having to sell myself on a large scale and I'm not much of a salesperson. It is amusing in that some of the women I've dated in the past are apparently on these sites again and have been floating me some compliments on how much weight I've lost and how great the hair looks. Man why didn't I do BFL years ago? To say the least that's motivated me to get back on track a little more as if I'm getting the looks now just imagine what kind of looks I'll get once I'm fully recovered from the cold and back in the gym again :) I have to admit it's weird to take compliments on my physical appearance. Aside from my deep blue eyes no one really has complimented me on my body. I've always had to have a REALLY strong personality and a great sense of humor for the most part or be the guy you got to know really well and them whammo I'm attractive. It never bothered me because I was always happy with the results I had then. Now all of a sudden I'm feeling attractive and then getting onsolicited compliments and well...for those of you that give me compliments and I haven't given you a resounding thank you belive me it's appreciated I'm just not used to it. I'll work on that.
Lastly put not leastly I wanted to say thanks to all of you that have IM'd or emailed with me today. It's been wonderful to interact with you all away from the blog and in real time. You're all wonderful people and I appreciate it. You're all on my buddy lists as well so I'll keep a watchful eye out for you and now I'm just a click away if you're bored at work!! So keep the emails and IM's coming and hopefully I'll have some juicier stuff to report as soon as I can.
Okay well no new updates on the gym girl. I took the advice and asked around at the gym and the general reply was either "who?" or "Dude we have lots of cute blonde haired girls here" so I'll have to let fate guide me on this one yet again. In regards to the ex gf calling me out of the blue I simply wrote her a nice email thanking her for the apology, telling her that I've been working out and losing weight and then said Happy Holidays and signed off. I realized that she had to eat a lot of crow to call me and apologize and I respected that, but I couldn't help letting her know that I had moved on, that I looked fantastic and then simply saying goodbye and to enjoy the holidays. Maybe she's grown up and maybe not. But if she's wanting to at least be civil again with me it will be at a snails pace. I was telling Carol that if you've ever seen the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" then you will understand the love and the frustration of the relationship I had with her. She's a beautiful person who got me out of my shell and helped me in ways no one else had, but overall she wanted a more carefree and crazy life than I was prepared for and that grew into estrangement and eventually after we broke up resentment mixed with hurtful words. As many of you know it's hard to break up with someone and sometimes worse to lose all contact with them together. It's like someone out there in the world that knows all of your secrets and dreams and most of all YOU and you have no connection with them anymore. I miss her yes...but I don't miss the pain, drama and the inability for things to be stable for any period of time. The sex was incredible but sadly that only keeps you together so long.
So in light of the absence of the gym girl and the ex calling me I decided to take Bev's advice from a while back and try online dating again. I honestly loathe it because I feel like I'm having to sell myself on a large scale and I'm not much of a salesperson. It is amusing in that some of the women I've dated in the past are apparently on these sites again and have been floating me some compliments on how much weight I've lost and how great the hair looks. Man why didn't I do BFL years ago? To say the least that's motivated me to get back on track a little more as if I'm getting the looks now just imagine what kind of looks I'll get once I'm fully recovered from the cold and back in the gym again :) I have to admit it's weird to take compliments on my physical appearance. Aside from my deep blue eyes no one really has complimented me on my body. I've always had to have a REALLY strong personality and a great sense of humor for the most part or be the guy you got to know really well and them whammo I'm attractive. It never bothered me because I was always happy with the results I had then. Now all of a sudden I'm feeling attractive and then getting onsolicited compliments and well...for those of you that give me compliments and I haven't given you a resounding thank you belive me it's appreciated I'm just not used to it. I'll work on that.
Lastly put not leastly I wanted to say thanks to all of you that have IM'd or emailed with me today. It's been wonderful to interact with you all away from the blog and in real time. You're all wonderful people and I appreciate it. You're all on my buddy lists as well so I'll keep a watchful eye out for you and now I'm just a click away if you're bored at work!! So keep the emails and IM's coming and hopefully I'll have some juicier stuff to report as soon as I can.
posted by havlow at 1:27 PM
4 Comments:
Sounds like your fun is just about to begin. Keep working hard and you'll have to beat the women off of you. You're doing great.
I don't know how much you know about me, but that avatar idea is cool. The one you did for Moggie is awesome.
What? You apologise for a long post?? Have you seen mine? Novels!! It's kind of kicking off down there again. Let's hear it for Bubblebutt!!!!
congrats on the compliments - it's nice isn't it?
You'll find the right woman Jeremy, and you never know, it just may be from the internet! Bobby and I met on Yahoo Personals! You have a great and positive attitude that will take you far! Someone is going to recognize that, and when that happens, you know you have found the "right" one that isn't shallow and can see the beauty within as well as the beauty that is blooming on the outside!
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