Jeremy...Psycho Girl on line 1 for you

Okay for those of you who care...I dabble in the online dating world. Most of the time it's been disappointing and dreary in regards to the folks I meet offline but rarely traumatic and scary. Some people don't look like their pictures, some people just don't ignite a spark on me and some people I just don't really care to see again. But tonight took the cake.

I had met a girl that we'll just call Alice to spare the name. We've been chatting since we met online about 3 weeks ago. Overall good chemistry, lots in common, she's a writer and seems genuninely normal. The only real drawback is that she is living in Charlotte. Well I figure why not take a chance and meet up with her? What's the harm right? So we decided to tentatively meet in Greensboro on Friday night.

Well about 2 days ago I started getting a bad feeling in my stomach. You know those gut feelings that tell you that something isn't right? well that also coincided with an allergy problem as well as some sleep deprivation issues from my night shift. Overall I'm feeling under the weather, I'm nauseous because of the allergies and now the red flags about meeting her. So I call her and tell her that I want to postpone because I'm feeling under the weather. Simple.

Not really.

I finally fell asleep and since I keep my cell phone in my other room when I'm sleeping during the day I didn't hear the umpteen phone calls and subsequent voice mail messages....

Message 1 - "hi I'm in Greensboro on my way to take care of you. Give me a call so I can more easily find you"

Message 2 - "hi still waiting for you to call me back. I'm in carrboro now. Where are you? I guess you'll just have to be surprised"

Message 3 - "Well I think I just freaked out somebody. You don't live at the address that i thought you did. Man that lady was scared. Please call me...I'm in town and don't know where you are"

Needless to say for the next 3 hours I didn't leave my apt, turned off all of the lights in fear that she was either outside my door or in the parking lot. I then notified all the friends I could find that there was a psycho on the loose. Well needless to say I'm alive. I've blocked her from my yahoo account but than I got an email from here pointing me to her block entry which I have written below:

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"I'm going to make a lot of mistakes. We all do, right? However, as I embark on this journey called "single," I know I'm going to make a lot of dumb, idiotic, irrational mistakes. This is the first one.

I met a guy named J.R. online. We hit off. I didn't know if I really wanted to become attached with someone who lived 100 miles away, but I did. He was addictive. He was funny, he was intelligent, we had a lot in common. I don't know why I'm talking in the past tense when describing him because, at least to my knowledge, he's not deceased and I think I will speak to him again, er, right?

Anyway, we were supposed to meet tonight at a halfway point but yesterday he came down with a bug. He said he was extremely sick and couldn't make it. I asked him if he'd like me to come over to help him out. There's nothing worse than being sick and by yourself; it's nice to know you have someone to get stuff for you or just be there. To be honest, I love taking care of people when they are sick -- as long as the vomit doesn't fly in my face. I get a satisfaction like none other when I help someone out, and I felt close enough to help J.R. out. Waiting for him to come back online or give me a call, on a whim, I got into my car and drove approximately 111 miles northeast of Concord. I googled his name and found his address. So, for two hours, every 40 miles or so, I called him to let him know I was on my way. No response. Mmmm, he must be sleeping. Now, I hit 10 miles from his place, call again. No answer. Leave message. No worries, I have his address and thanks to Mapquest I have directions to his apartment.

Now, for some reason, I can't find the street. The last direction dear old Mapquest gave me ended. No street. No street signs! Just a main street with dozens apartment complexes. The sun is down and it's hard to see what to expect around every turn because it's unchartered territory. Again, I call J.R. No answer, leave message. Finally, after a half-hour of searching, I think I found the road and I ask a couple walking if this is the street. "Yes," they reply. I find the building number. Wonderful. I find the apartment door. Excellent! I knock. A small framed woman with a page boy haircut answers the door. Uh oh. No, J.R. Again, I call. No answer, leave message. So, here I am, drove 111 miles, spent about $25 in gasoline and now I have to turn around? Yep. That's what I did. I drove back to Concord.

Was I pissed? Hell, yeah. Am I over it? Hell, yeah. I've learned a few things in the last six hours. Never travel to a place you THINK is there. Don't invite yourself over to anyone's house if they do not live within a five-mile radius of your place. And NEVER drink a 48 oz. cup of Diet Coke when you're driving on a two-lane highway in rural North Carolina. These are troves of knowledge I am passing down to you, and a few things I will never forget as I venture into the wilderness known as dating."

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That's it...no more dating for me. I'm apparently TOO addictive and can't be trusted!! Sheesh!! I'm hoping that's the last I'll hear from her. I'm going to try the "ignore" tactic and hope that works. If not I'll move to nasty leave me alone emails and if that doesn't work I'm changing my name, moving to another country and becoming a brick mason!